"What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am? "
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
I have always loved this quote. I came by it again just the other day. It is a good question to reflect upon. Spiral deeper through the layers of your feelings. So as you ask yourself this question, you may get an answer right away...go deeper, beneath that answer, and then deeper again, until you feel it in your core.
For Oriah, she expresses that as she moved through the layers of this question, the answer for her was that she feared that she was not enough just the way she is.
That answer resonated with me.
I find myself always striving to be more. More Spiritual, more patient, better mother, daughter, wife, healer etc... When I am always looking at how I want to be, then I am being pulled away from being fully present with who I really am.
The practice for me is to be really present with myself. When I am tired...to be tired. When I am angry...to be angry. When I am happy...to be happy. Feel everything. Be present. Be enough.
I find that when I am present with myself, I have more energy and move through the world more freely. It takes a lot of energy to always be looking at how I want to be rather than Just BE.
Just a little something to think about.
Living my Purpose is what I am all about. How do we bring who we are authentically out into the world. Breast cancer was a huge wake up call for me and using that illness as a teacher was tremendously healing. I have been a healer all my life, but somewhere along the journey I started to lose sight of who I was authentically. It's been a real journey getting that back and given me more tools to help others find their way back.